Fall is fast upon us here in Sweden and now there are only a couple of days left until Robin Sharma is coming to Stockholm. Will be great to see him again and catch up on everything that has happened since the last time we met. Not to mention the opportunity to let 600 people share his life changing thoughts on leadership.
The VIP-tickets for the event are sold out, but we still have some regular tickets left if you want to grab the chance for a last minute chance to come and get world-class inspiration on Friday…
This month’s letter is all about the one thing that we all want: Happiness. According to the american constitution it’s every citizens right to have life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. But is it really a pursuit? Something that you have to go and get for yourself? Hopefully, after reading my thoughts on the subject you will agree that it’s much easier than that…
Make Your Life a Masterpiece,
Quote of the month
" The most wonderful place in the world is not a place at all, but a state of mind. Inside it anywhere is good enough, outside it nothing is. "
- Anders Haglund
Being happy is easier than you think
Have you ever had a problem that stayed with you for long time? That is, even though you did what you could to change it nothing seemed to work? I think we’ve all had a few of those lingering somewhere in our lives. Maybe we tried to lose weight only to find ourselves heavier after a year than where we started.
For some people it’s wanting to keep their relationships flourishing, but instead find that 18 months down the line the feelings have waned instead. Or thinking that the next success will be the one to make all the difference in the world, but finding that each ”win” actually comes with diminished return of great feelings.
Whenever these things occur we either get discouraged and stop trying or get at it again. Those who do give it another try usually do it from the belief that they were doing the right thing – they just didn’t try hard enough, smart enough or long enough. But that’s usually not the real problem. If we have tried something for over a year and it hasn’t gotten better, or even worse, the truth is that what we think is the solution is our problem.
We’re simply missing a fundamental understanding without which trying harder will not work. That’s why our efforts quite often have the effect of trying to put out a fire with gasoline. It’s like finding out that our biggest problem is talking to ourselves too much inside our heads and then trying to talk yourself out of doing it. Not the best strategy as you can imagine.
So, this month I would like to challenge a couple of established ideas about how we go about “trying”. Because there’s nothing wrong with giving something your best try, but if it’s based on the wrong premise it will not do much good. And in my experience a lot of our “failures” is based on trying to improve what we can’t and not trying to improve what we actually can.
To start this off here’s a first question for you: Is there something you can do to be happier? Most people would answer that with “lots of things”. Once I start digging a little deeper people give me more specific examples like exercise, meditation, spending time with friends, playing golf, having sex, making money or growing and getting better. The list can be made much longer and it all sounds like worthwhile aims.
Problem is that it doesn’t lead to happiness. It just seems to correlate sometimes. If you don’t agree with that I have a second question for you: Have you ever done things that you normally think is fun but still felt pretty bad anyway? Of course! That’s because happiness doesn’t come from doing stuff. It comes pre-installed in the human soul and is something we are all born with an infinite capacity for.
The only thing standing in the way of it is your personal thinking. The instant you see through it and don’t take it seriously your innate capacity for happiness will shine through regardless of your circumstances. The instance you get caught up in your thoughts you loose contact with it. You see, ”bad” feelings are only shadows in your mind caused by your personal thoughts blocking the ever present sunshine of your life force.
That’s why you can go to a concert filled with people and feel lonely. Be by yourself and still feel connected to all of human kind. Holding hands with someone and feel deep love. Have sex and feel anxious. Make money and be over the moon or be worried about losing it or being judged for having it. You could be dancing like a beginner and having the best night of your life or be dancing at the world championships and feel nothing but stress.
There is no connection between what you’re doing or how well you’re doing it and your happiness. Happiness is always there for you as soon as you forget about yourself and just involve yourself in the moment. As soon as you take yourself seriously when you think that you should be somewhere else, be doing something else, doing better or “it” needs to change the connection to your happy birthright slips away.
That’s because happiness is not an intellectual achievement – it’s something that is constantly coming through you! Understand that and you are well on your way to finding all that you’ve been seeking. Not to mention how clear it becomes what you really want to do when you no longer think you “have to do it” to be happy. You already are what you’re looking for.
Slowing Down to the Speed of Life
by Richard Carlson & Joseph Bailey
This is one of those rare gems of a book hat everyone should read. Reason being that it gives you an understanding of the very underpinning of our experience of life. It will give you insights while you’re reading and they will pop up into your mind afterwards as well. Insights that will increase your ability to enjoy life and perform better no matter what you have chosen to do. So, do yourself the greatest of services and get this book, read it and notice how your experience of life transforms…
You can find more books under Suggested Reading
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As an integral part of living my vision "to inspire, educate and make a difference in enough peoples private and professional lives to make a positive difference in the world", I write and distribute a free monthly coaching letter. In these I share various ideas, thoughts and insights that I think can be of value for all of you who are interested in getting the absolute best out of life.Read more