Are you excited about the coming year? Feel good about your chances to make it your best so far? If not, why not? Not that it wouldn’t be ok if you felt that this wasn’t your year for some reason. It’s hard for anyone to keep reaching new personal bests.
But that only goes for results. Because, when it comes to the experience of living that can still get better even in the face of hardships. We’ve all been stimulated by having a lot to do and frustrated by having a lot on our plate. Which shows that there is no connection between our external circumstances and our internal experience.
I find this endlessly intriguing and this week I was inspired by an old memory from my years on the professional golf tours and a visit to the Opera. The fact that I was more touched by the Swedish version of Chess than when I saw it in London made me realize that we can always get new things from things we thought we knew. Curious? Scroll down, read and…
Make Your Life a Masterpiece,
Quote of the month
" You must get involved to have an impact. No one is impressed with the won-lost record of the referee. "
- John Holcomb
Life is not an evaluation sport
It was the start of a wonderful, sunny day in Paris. I was standing on the side-walk outside ”the players hotel” a few hundred yards away from the Palace of Versailles enjoying a quiet moment while waiting for my transportation out to the golf course.
All of a sudden a large tourist bus turns the corner and comes to a screeching halt right in front of where I’m standing. The doors open with a hissing noise and out comes a steady flow of American tourists. The first one points out the grand old house right over the street from the hotel to his friend and starts snapping photos at a rapid pace.
Soon all of the others follow suit and enough cameras start flashing to almost rival the sun as a light source. All accompanied by loud outcries like ”Fantastic!”, ”Awesome!”, ”Unbelievable!”. They were so exalted that I had to take another look at the house myself, but I still couldn’t get what so special about it.
Maybe some american movie star lived there? Or maybe it was a war hero or some other historically important person that had built it? I moved in a little closer to eavesdrop. It took a little while to make out over cacophony of voices, but once I did I shook my head in disbelief and chuckled as I put my golf bag in the trunk of the courtesy car that had just arrived. They actually thought that the house was the Palace of Versaille.
When their guide pointed out the castle of few hundred yards behind their backs, they took in stride. They just said ”Wow!” and took off to get better pictures. I still remember how typically American it was to be ranting and raving about just about anything. Naïve. Loud. Ignorant. But surprisingly, they seemed to have a lot more fun than us cultivated Europeans who complained about the uncouth yanks.
Not surprising anymore though, because the truth is that none of us can have much fun while we are busy judging what’s going on. Even the grandest of sun sets will not touch your heart if you’re comparing it to another one you’ve seen. Because your head is now so clouded with what you think is objective critique and realistic evaluations that even the sun can’t shine through.
When this happens your entire experience of the world will be that of these judgmental thoughts and invisible prejudices. With that intellectual wall in the way life no longer has any chance of coming in and touching you. Then the last thing you’ll want to do is to be part of a cheering section for the wondrousness of ordinary life. That is about as hard as for a referee to enjoy the game that they are there to judge and keep in check.
The reason that I bring this up is that I see the same pattern repeating itself in all areas of life. People who are way to busy wondering if their partner is right for them and if it really feels the way is should. They will always find that something is lacking while they are engaged in that thinking. So, they break up and are determined to stay single.
All of a sudden, the referee in their head takes a well deserved break and they find their soul mate and fall in love right when they least expect it. But of course that’s what’s going to happen. Love, compassion and joy is what you come back to as soon as you don’t think your way out of it.
Much the same as when golfers often play their best on the first round of the year when they don’t have any expectations and don’t deem a missed shot as anything but a natural miscue of a ”rusty” body. However, on the next round they usually start thinking again: If I could only keep this in mind too now it will be really good… But those thoughts is what takes again blocks their natural ability to get the best out of themselves and they’re back to playing ”worse than normal” again.
Can you recognize any of this? If you’re human you probably do and then a little understanding of this goes a long way. Suddenly, you’ll see that you can choose if you want to live in a world of fault finding and disappointment or a world of beauty and natural well-being. You just have to stop taking your thoughts all that seriously.
Once you see that possibility you’ll almost automatically get down from the bleachers of life, take of your ref jersey and start engaging in the game to the best of your ability. From that point on you’ll be the opposite of Mick Jagger and get your satisfaction even from the simplest things in life. When would now be a good time to start?
Our True Identity
by Elsie Spittle
Elsie is one of the unique few people who new life philosopher Sydney Banks both before and after he had his life transforming insight. Here she shares a collection of heartfelt stories of hope and inspiration. She tells of families and couples coming together with love and understanding, of executives and employees learning to work in harmony, of people who were fighting for survival on the streets, realizing their inner worth and dignity. She also shares her own journey to finding her True Identity. Get it while it’s still available. It’s a true gem of a book…
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As an integral part of living my vision "to inspire, educate and make a difference in enough peoples private and professional lives to make a positive difference in the world", I write and distribute a free monthly coaching letter. In these I share various ideas, thoughts and insights that I think can be of value for all of you who are interested in getting the absolute best out of life.Read more