This month I was thinking about not writing any letter at all. The reason being that my father passed away last Thursday and the week-end has felt upside-down in every sense of the word. But then I found myself sitting at the computer, fingers tapping away almost involuntarily on the keyboard. Once I had started it felt like something that could be of value for others and at the same time a honor the memory of my best friend who has always been there for me. So with that said, I hope that this months words can find their way into your heart too…
Quote of the month
" Beginning today, treat everyone you meet as if they were going to be dead by midnight. Extend to them all the care, kindness and understanding you can muster, and do it with no thought of any reward. Your life will never be the same again. "
- Og Mandino
Before it's too late...
Almost every month I write about something that has inspired me in some way. It can start with a quote, a fleeting thought, a line in a book or something I happened to see on the internet. Simple, little things that give way for something bigger. This is not one of those times. Because this Thursday my father passed away and it doesn’t get much bigger than that.
It’s a little bit like having a baby. There is no way of understanding what that means until you hold your own baby in your arms. You can talk to friends who has ”been through it” och you can feel as prepared as you can be, but you simply can’t ”get” what it’s like until it happens to you.
For me, as you might imagine, this is a time of sorrow and immense sense of loss. He was not only my dad but also my best friend. He was the first person I called as I got in the car. The one I wanted to talk to after every special occasion in life, no matter if it was about a victory in golf or a chance to be on stage in front of 2.500 people or the birth of our first child.
Naturally, he was also always there during the tough times. I could write page upon page about how much he has meant to me, but it is probably of little consequence to others. We are all living in our personal world, mourn in different ways and all have our own personal winters that can be tough to get through.
What I do think might be of general interest is the wake-up call that I got as I lay awake that first night, going through ”everything”. In the stark contrast that death gives as a backdrop to life it was so clear to me how many unimportant things we keep busy with. When push comes to shove, all that really matters is our close personal relationships.
When we see how innocent our human flaws are and see that we all do our best in relationship to the depth of our own understanding of life, it becomes really evident how silly it is to argue to be right when all that is needed to enjoy our time together instead is to lower our prestige a little. To reach out a helping hand instead of trying to be safe in our own little bubbles of insecurity.
I inspire, educate and coach people on this, but right there in the middle of a very lonely night it took on a whole new depth. Like there was something that went ”click” deep inside me and after that the world looks a little different somehow. As if reality get to come in and touch me more in each and every moment. To look into my sons eyes has always been a dizzying experience, but now there is something more.
Exactly what I cannot express in words this close up to it, and maybe I never will, but perhaps there are some of you who have had similar experiences that can. But there is a richness to life that probably only a close proximity to death can give an insight to. With it we might not have seen life as so precious, unique, wonderful and invaluable.
That’s how it looks to me right now. Perhaps I will doubt all that the next time my tears are streaming down my cheaks again. Regardless, if feels like my dad has given me his most important lesson right when it feels like I would have needed him the most.
I hope that there might be something here for you too that life feels just as magical as it already is behind our ideas about how it should be. A certain something that gives a sense of hope and comfort even in the toughest things that that we go through…Words cannot describe the loss I feel,
you are my dad but above all my best friend
To know that you were there to talk to meant so much
even when we didn’t take the time.
You seldom saw how fantastic you were
your ability to lift up, to never keep old grudges after the fact.
You gave me the hope of being something more,
always supportive of my stubborness to be the best.
My wings grew from your support, the ability to fly came from your encouragement.
Without you it wouldn’t have come to pass. Thank you with all my heart for letting me have you as my father. You held my hand wherever I walked in life, I am so grateful that I go to hold yours when you left it.
You will always be in my heart and half of me is you.
I love you,
Your proud son, Anders
by Jamie Smart
Met up with Jamie in London this weekend and got the inside scoop on how he first wrote a different book only to find out that it didn’t match his newest understanding. What was impressive to me is that he then rewrote the entire book and what came out it is a real gem. As it says on the front cover: Clear mind, Better performance, Bigger results. So, do yourself a favor and get your hands on a copy as soon as possible. The information in it truly has the potential to transform your life…
You can find more books under Suggested Reading
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As an integral part of living my vision "to inspire, educate and make a difference in enough peoples private and professional lives to make a positive difference in the world", I write and distribute a free monthly coaching letter. In these I share various ideas, thoughts and insights that I think can be of value for all of you who are interested in getting the absolute best out of life.Read more