I hope this coaching letter finds you well where ever you might be. Here in Sweden, winter has finally arrived for real. The north of the country is reporting record amounts of snow, but down here in the south it has, up until now, been like one long, mild fall season. So, global warming means that we get more extreme weather – not that it’s cold where you are 🙂
Anyway, this week I am taking a look at something that can make all the difference in the world. The best thing about it is that all it takes is an educated look behind the curtain of how we actually create our experience of the world. One peek and life will never be the same …
Make Your Life a Masterpiece,
Quote of the month
" Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance "
Manage Your Mental Inbox
Recently I was reminded of a story that is usually accredited to the Irish writer Oscar Wilde. Someone was writing letters seeping with ill-will and criticism to him. It was about his way of being, dressing and his behavior in general. After a few of them Oscar Wilde finally sent a reply: My dear Sir, I just want to inform you that someone is sending unintelligent letters under your name …
The reason this popped into my mind was that I was struck by what a good metaphor that is for how our experience of life works too. That might sound a little cryptical so let me elaborate. From the day we are born we are trying to make sense out of all the impressions that are streaming in to us through our senses. And every time we get our thoughts to match with the reality outside we make a quantum leap in our development.
It can be as simple as suddenly understanding that there are other people and that some of them show up more often than others. We learn to call them mom, dad, grandma, grandpa etc. Later even more advanced concepts like green means go and red means stop. Look to the left before crossing the street. Male and female. Safe and dangerous.
We get ever better at decoding the electrical and chemical signals sent to our brain and before long we no longer think that we are guessing what is going on out there in the world. We our totally unaware that we don’t see a picture of what goes on outside, but rather a thought generated picture inside our heads that our consciousness projects out onto the world.
That projection is usually good enough to pick up things, open doors, drive a car and type on your computer. In fact we get so good at it that we no longer think we are guessing what’s outside. Not only that, once the calibration is made between our projection and the ”real world” we start believing that our feelings come from the outside rather than from our personal guess about what the electrical and chemical signals mean.
Now all that neurological, scientific talk might send your head for a spin, so lets find out what all this has got to do with Oscar Wilde. Well, it might be easier to understand if you realize that we create our feelings about the world much like if we sent ourselves an email with the subject: I’m totally spent! and then when we open it up we go: Yeah, I’m really tired. I’m having a tough day …
What we are missing is that we are the author of that experience of being tired. If at least we would have checked on who sent it we would have seen our own address and done a bit of a double take from seeing your own name there.
Sometimes, especially when we don’t like the feeling we get from the email, we are quick to reply with a flurry of frustrated emails and when our inbox ”pings” we start over again. This can spiral into a heated debate between your ears and the sum of all those emails, that you and everybody else sends to yourself each day, becomes your experience of life.
There really isn’t a bigger insight to be made than this. That your feelings and experience of the world comes from your own ”thought created emails” and not from your circumstances. It’s a true game changer if you truly understand that all people face the same challenge in recognizing this. We think and from the thoughts we think come our experience of life.
As we get older we naturally start seeing that at least some of what we are thinking is not true just because we are the ones thinking it. That just because we are having some scary thoughts we don’t have to be afraid of them – at least if we see that they were sent by ourselves. Then we pause at the first email and avoid a flurry of frenetic answers to make whoever is sending ”idiotic emails” to stop. A little like awakening after a bad dream and noticing that the feeling does not have the same impact the moment we realize it was just a dream.
So, Dear Sir or Madame, in conclusion it is my sincere wish that this short text might help you see yourself as the author of your experience. Because if you see something new here you will notice how you a lot less often fall victim to your own thoughts. And what is left when you know who in actual fact is filling your mental inbox is more of the human default setting of presence, humility, love, creativity, energy and peace …
The Inside Out Revolution
by Michael Neill
This is one of those rare gems of a book that I personally think that everyone should read. Reason being that it gives you an understanding of the very underpinning of our experience of life. It will give you insights while you’re reading and they will pop up into your mind afterwards as well. Insights that will increase your ability to enjoy life and perform better no matter what you have chosen to do. But, be warned, if you are looking for tools and applications you will not find them here. Just a solid understanding that will let you come up with your own answer instead. So, that said, do yourself the greatest of services and get this book, read it and notice how your experience of life transforms…
You can find more books under Suggested Reading
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As an integral part of living my vision "to inspire, educate and make a difference in enough peoples private and professional lives to make a positive difference in the world", I write and distribute a free monthly coaching letter. In these I share various ideas, thoughts and insights that I think can be of value for all of you who are interested in getting the absolute best out of life.Read more