I hope that this finds you in good spirits and looking forward to the end of the year. I know that find it very inspiring to find out how I can wrap the year up in the best way possible. Or fascinating to see how I can handle the challenges that are bound to show up.
In this monthly coaching letter I take a look at the powerful difference between understanding that you see a unique reality created by your personal thinking and believing that we experience an objective reality that is there for everyone to see. I hope the implications of that fact will play out in wonderful ways for you too …
Your Life is a Masterpiece, discover it!
Quote of the month
" Here is a clear emotional signal that tells you if your thinking is productive or not: If you feel pressured, stressed or insecure it's not! "
- Anders Haglund
Different without changing?
I have noticed that quite a few people are wondering about the shift in direction that I have made regarding performance psychology. One of the reactions from the people who are starting to see where I am pointing to is: This is totally different and changes everything. The other is from those who don’t see it yet and says something along these lines instead: Anders is not as sharp anymore. He used to have so many practical and specific tools for just about anything. Now he’s just talking about thought and thinking in general as if that was something new.
Now, since I live for getting through to anyone and see their eyes light up from understanding something new, this difference is something that I have pondered a lot lately. How come some people understand how radically different and powerful what I’m sharing now is, while others think that it’s more of the same just delivered in a different packaging?
This is something that we are all up against when we want to get the benefits of our service or product to reach our potential clients. Because it’s not enough that we ourselves know that we have something of greater value than our competitors. Everybody else is also saying that they have ”the keys”, ”the secret”, ”the ultimate”, ”cutting edge” and ”world class”. Not easy to for anyone to find their way through the constant buzz and find what claims are for real.
So why would this insight that we live in the feeling of our thinking moment to moment and not in the feeling of our circumstances be so different? Isn’t that what just about every book and personal development guru has been touting? Take control of your thinking and think more positive and you’ll both feel and do better! Change the tone of your internal voice, associate to what you want and disassociate from what you don’t want. Make really BIG pictures of good stuff and small, distant ones of anything ”bad”. Surround yourself with people who give you energy and avoid the ”energy thieves” of the world.
All good advice, right? But most people who have tried notice that ”things” get a little better and you can be more productive. However, the problem is that on the tips and advice level you can change a lot but nothing is really different where it truly matters. You make more money but aren’t more satisfied with life. Might loose some weight but are getting grumpier with having to work on making the right choices. Whereas when you understand what I’m pointing to you actually don’t have to change anything and still something is different on a deeper level. All it takes is an insight into how we all build our experience of the world.
The important part here is to understand that it’s not about what you think or how you think but about the fact THAT you think. That’s what makes everything different. Even if you have the same thoughts or not (circumstances between the ears). If you have the same house, job, partner, health or anything else (the circumstances outside of the 15 centimeters between the ears).
Pheew, that was easy, don’t you think? The problem is that this is something that needs to land somewhere beyond your intellect. Without that happening we will only put it through the same mental grinder as before. That’s why it takes a genuine insight to change how life looks to you and that in turn takes some free space in your mind where something new can come in. To point you in that direction I want to ask you a few questions that most people would answer with a resounding yes. However, I would like you to reflect on your answers might lead to if you instead start with the notion that the correct answer is ”NO”:
1. Can feelings be sent to you through time and space from the past? I.e. from situations and events that has already happened?
2. Can feelings be sent to you through time and space from the future? I.e. from situations and events that hasn’t even occurred yet?
3. Can feelings be sent to from what’s going on in the moment? I.e. from situations and events that is going on right now?
Now for a couple of questions that hopefully will build on the insights the answers to the above questions might have led to:
4. If other people can feel completely different than you when facing the exact same situations or events, in the past, the future or in the moment, what do you attribute that to?
5. Is it possible for you to think about the exact same thing at different times and have completely different reactions to it? (for example, you count to 10 to try and calm down and one time it ”works” and the other time your irritation escalates while you are counting instead. Or some other mental tool that you have tried to apply.) What’s that all about?
It’s my sincere hope that this at least makes you pause, reflect and start looking in a different direction for solutions to your challenges. Perhaps you’ll see what an amazing psychological freedom that comes with understanding the principles behind how we all create our personal experience of life moment to moment via our thinking. That whatever is on the outside looks different depending on the state of mind that you are thinking it from. That from an irritated mind we feel irritated no matter how much calm thinking we are trying to conjure up. On the other hand, from a calm mind we feel calm even in normally irritating circumstances. That’s you can’t feel stressed by your job unless you think about it in a stressful way.
This really isn’t something you have to work at. A calm mind is simply a mind that is not as filled up with thought. That’s why mental techniques don’t ”work”. You can’t think your way out of thinking too much. For obvious reasons that will only make it worse. All you can do is understand where your experience of life is coming from. Each and every time you catch yourself and realize it’s only your thinking in the moment looking real to you that has put a cover on your innate ability you will be back in the natural flow that we are all born with.
This is the best leadership book that I have read so far. Because instead of giving you models for behavior, the authors take a look at the guiding principles for human psychology that affects everything behind the scenes. Mixed with practical examples on how to turn a negative trend around, make people that don’t like each other see eye to eye and work effortlessly together and finding the right space to find solutions to any challenge you face. In short, all you need for running both a successful business and a satisfying life.
You can find more books under Suggested Reading
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As an integral part of living my vision "to inspire, educate and make a difference in enough peoples private and professional lives to make a positive difference in the world", I write and distribute a free monthly coaching letter. In these I share various ideas, thoughts and insights that I think can be of value for all of you who are interested in getting the absolute best out of life.Read more