Here in Sweden the weather is shifting and the wonderful smell of spring is hitting my nostrils.. Birds are chirping away and celebrating the hopefulness of a new season…
In this months blog I reflect on maybe the most important shift you can make. Something that pretty much determines how effective your actions will be in any situation. Hopefully, it will be worth way more than the five minutes of reading it takes to start…
Your Life is a Masterpiece, discover it!
Quote of the month
" I don't like that man. I must get to know him better. "
- Abraham Lincoln
It all starts with you!
Finding fault with the world around us. It’s not the hardest thing in the world. The government should get more done with less waste. Someone should deal with pollution of the environment, teachers get a grip on their students, health care deliver better care for the the patients. Might even think that an American president should base their policies and statements on facts rather than on suspect sources on the internet…
Phew, let those thoughts simmer in your mind and dance with your imagination and your attitude will do an illegal u-turn in the wrong direction. Once that has happened you have probably already noticed that even things that are ok starts to look a lot worse. A downward spiral nobody wants get caught up in. Still, we all innocently do from time to time.
Because it’s all too easy to go down a dark alleyway when your thinking is rushing and your emotions are welling up. From that place everything around us looks dark and we think we’re absolutely right. One of my favourite quotes is from the actor Will Smith who said: Whenever I see a problem in the world, I start by looking at me. Now, I haven’t had the opportunity to personally ask what he meant by that, but it has not stopped it from having deep meaning for me.
Here’s and example of how it plays out in my own everyday life. Our 7-year-olk was helping out our 3-year-old with putting together some Lego. The little one was happy with doing it in his own merry way, but big brother kept jumping in and curtly saying things like: That’s not where it goes!! Stop, you’re ruining it! Awwww! Give it to me! Finishing it by harshly snatching the pieces out of his brothers little fingers.
As I overheard that I was on my way to jump in and do some ”teaching of manners” when a flash of consciousness entered my mind. All of a sudden I got a quick ”preview” of the tone I was about to use in ”correcting” him. Up until that moment I had been blissfully unware and saw it as justified ”child rearing”, but now it was blindingly obvious how my tone to him would be uncomfortably close to the one he had just used.
A metaphorical cold shower of understanding cleansed my mind and I could approach the situation in a more loving manner. As I did the situation resolved itself effortlessly in way that astounded me. I don’t know how many times I will have to make a deposit on that relationship account for the kids to see it too, but it made a huge difference right away. The feeling was just so different once I realized I had been teaching him that ”if you deem somebody to be at fault do this…”
Another opportune time where I found myself looking at me first was with my wife. She was irritated about something and I found myself being ”annoyed” with her being irritated. A little like thinking it makes sense to shout ”Stop shouting!” at someone who is shouting. Because her irritation was obviously irrational and uncalled for while mine was completely rational and justified…
What previously made perfect sense, was suddenly transformed into such a ironic, befuddled logic that it was outright laughable. Once I saw it fresh new thinking flowed in with an entirely new view of the situation in its tow. You can probably imagine what a difference that understanding made for which way our interaction went, right? One quick, enlightened look inside at my own thought created experience of the world, rather than outside at what needed to change, and the problems and what to do with them is completely different.
Do you have any similar examples from your own life? If not for the moment, there is a pretty high probability that you will come up with something in the coming week that makes a real difference where it counts – in your everyday life. One single, genuine insight in the middle of living and you live in a totally different world…
by Patrick Lencione
This is one of those wonderful little books that I really appreciate. Not only is it filled with priceless ideas on how to add value to your customers. It also has insights for how to be more successful in any area of your life.We are human beings 24 hours a day so what helps you at work helps you at home and vice versa. You’ll be glad you read this…
You can find more books under Suggested Reading
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As an integral part of living my vision "to inspire, educate and make a difference in enough peoples private and professional lives to make a positive difference in the world", I write and distribute a free monthly coaching letter. In these I share various ideas, thoughts and insights that I think can be of value for all of you who are interested in getting the absolute best out of life.Read more